9.18.2013

lousy jerks

Through this screen I saw,
there were some jerks hanging around together,
they fought each other in the mud, that dirty mud,
but they helped out each other at the end.

Through these eyes I see,
there are some jerks hanging around together,
they fight each other in that dirty mud,
but this time, they leave each other behind.

On that screen I've seen many
with this eyes I've learn many
And that screen, got me thinking
and these eyes, got me wishing

Through some stories I've been reading
Through some thoughts I've been avoiding
Because some of that stories got me hoping
Because some of that thoughts got me destroyed.

What are you trying to steal?
no, none of this is my will
oh, whatever it is you trying to steal
I tell you, I have nothing.

Let me see those kind of smile
Let me feel those kind of love
Let me hear you say its forever
Although i know there's no forever

Stop! that lousy smile
cause all I've got its dirt in another aisle
Stop! that lousy, oh so lousy love
cause all i feel its just another failing laugh,

9.16.2013

That Time

So it's down time again.
I remember the last time I had it.
It was excruciating.
It was like a thunderbolts attacking the core of the body.
I was electrocuted.
The high volts charged me back to life.
Then it began..
The slow stabbing. It was so slow i could feel how many inches has gone through.
I'm never sure whether it was a knife, a thin sharp dagger, or a thin pointy ice.
What i sure about it was the feel of it. It was cold, cold, and cold.
The salt water was always the final touch.
Salt water and an wide open flesh. Well, you know the rest.

I always do tests to know if it's healed.
It never were. Though there were times i thought it did.
And there were times my surrounding tricked me.
It doesn't matter, cause it never did.

It's that time again.
Where i take my feet to step down the ladder, one by one.
Right-left-right-left-right-left. Again.
People have tried to hide the ladder, but i always manage to find it.
I know what's down there, i visit it from time to time. Unintentionally. Sure.
Now I think, I think, I would have to go down there again.
This time by choice. I chose cause i have no choice.
I'm scared, scared, scared because it's a one scary place.
Now i have to climb down. I only have to climb down cause I climbed up.
I have to land. I have to land only because I took off.